All the Eggs Are in the Basket

As you know, I've selected my target races for the 12-month period over which I intend to:

• Qualify for the Boston Marathon
• Qualify for Kona (Ironman Hawaii)

I officially began training for these things on September 5. Yesterday was the first race I did for the period. Races will calibrate where my actual fitness is, which then is used to plan my training and ensure that I am capable of meeting my goals.

The Naperville Trails 1/2 marathon was well run and took place in the Danada Equestrian Reserve, which is not too far from my house. I met my friend, Matt, there. The race started at 8:30, which was a bit late for our liking, but nothing you can do about it. The race was 100% on crushed limestone except for the last about 1/2 mile, where you run in on the grass horse track! There were some rolling hills, but nothing I would call "hilly."

My last 1/2 marathon was 4/12/2015 in Denver and I went 2:20. Yesterday I went 2:13. Not great for me, but the good thing is that my right foot didn't hurt one iota! In fact, yesterday was the first 1/2 marathon or more where my foot hasn't hurt since 2011! So actually I was ecstatic about my result, especially since I didn't taper and I went in with sore legs from last weekend's biking festival (50 miles fast with the A group of my bike club on Saturday, then 3 hours of Sufferfest videos on Sunday) plus 2 duathlon workouts last week. So to expect my best run would have been foolish. Still, I did visit the hurt locker, but it was nice in that Matt ran most of the way with me as did a 2:15 pacer girl. How great that was! I basically had my own personal pacers! Here are Matt and I before the race:

Now as to the eggs thing, after I raced yesterday (and I was 4/15 F55-59 by USATF age group classification, but if they used USAT age groups, I was first in 60-64 by 17 minutes!), I drove up to Madison, Wisconsin to cheer at the Ironman while spending time with one of my best buds, William. Here we are eating at the Badger Grill in the Doubletree Hotel, where we both have stayed previously and I already reserved for next year:

I think we met in 2003 originally, but William argued with me about that. William is an uber-ultra athlete. He's done a Triple Ironman. I love him and we try and spend time together whenever it's possible. That's really why I went up to Wisconsin, since I don't see him very often.

I wasn't in primo spectating mode, as my legs hurt like mofos from the race, but I did the best I could. I would ask people looking a bit shattered if there was anything they needed. I had brought gels, salt tablets, candy and HTFU. One guy said, "Albuterol." And I said I have it! I really hope that giving that guy a couple of puffs from my inhaler enabled him to feel better and get moving again. I know how awful it can feel when your lungs feel like they just can't work properly.

I stayed overnight with a friend, Emily, that I met 2 years ago at Tyranena Beer Run, another 1/2 marathon where I went 2:10. So I know I can go at least that fast (and maybe faster). I need my 1/2 marathon pace to be about 2:07 to really lock in on that Boston qualification. That's only 2 VDOT points from where I'm at now, and I've been that fast, so I feel confident in achieving the BQ. At Disney? Who knows? But if not there then certainly at Los Angeles marathon.

I have to admit, every day when I wake up, this BQ and KQ stuff is on my mind. Sometimes I say to myself, "Don't do anything stupid." But much of what I do is on autopilot, for example, driving fast in the left lane on a highway. But I've learned to give focus to whatever I'm doing, so when I'm driving, I'm driving, except when I need emergency McDonald's so that I don't starve to death:

OMG that was good. I was so happy to see that the McGriddle is back! But I digress.

Just because I've done so many triathlons and trained so hard for so many years doesn't mean I don't get nervous about races or goals looming on the horizon. I am already visualizing my finish at Ironman Wisconsin 2017. I signed up for it today, and I got the chills doing it:

There has been only one other time when I thought I might be able to get a Kona slot--it was in 2006. I was very well trained for Ironman Brazil. I was in fantastic shape. But then my Mom died a month before the race, and I still went. And I bawled my eyes out in transition before the race started. I felt so lost and alone. And I had caught a sinus infection and I was dizzy standing on the beach before the swim start. And then I got kicked in the face during the swim and didn't know until I was finished that my nose was bloody and my eyes were black and blue. But I finished, and of course, there was no Kona slot that day. The next year my Dad died, and after that I sort of just put the whole Kona thing on the back burner. I did a bunch of NothingMans, enjoyed that, and then I did Ultraman Canada in 2010 and am still very proud of that accomplishment--I was the oldest female finisher!

So it's not like I had given up on stretch goals, but early this summer I decided it was time to reach for the stars once again, and so here I am and it's fucking scary. I yell at my brothers to pay attention to their health--I don't want anything bad to happen to them in the next year. But you never know what life has in store for you!

Does that mean it's folly to put all your eggs in the one big, fucking basket anyway? NO! If you don't dream, you don't achieve. And even if you don't accomplish the dream, it is always worth the journey to have tried. Each time I do a major race, I learn something new about myself and find new satisfaction in doing it. And I absolutely love sharing my own knowledge with others. Over the years, I've mentored people who became faster than me (which is as it should be since they are younger than me!), and am truly happy for them. But I've had helpers along the way, too--people who have pushed me when I needed it--people who have stood by me when I've suffered emotionally, and people who might not be close friends, but they are always there to notice when I've done something good. And that's what this stuff is really all about.

So whether or not I cross the Ironman Wisconsin finish line in first place in my AG, I can say it will have been well worth my time and effort to give it a go. I am so lucky to even think about this! I am so unbelievably happy how all of this has come together for me, and honestly, I get all teary eyed at least once a day lately. Does that mean I'm weak? I don't think so. I think it means I really appreciate my life and fitness.

So when you get a bunch of eggs, PUT THEM ALL IN ONE BIG FUCKING BASKET. Your basket may just be to finish an Ironman or to get a degree or to get in better shape, but at some point you have to go for it. You will not regret it! 

Genesis of the Mind and Body of Iron--Part 2

So I left off Part 1 with having finished my first Ironman, Lake Placid, in 2001. At the time, I was fat, slow, did not know how to use the proper gearing on my bike (in retrospect my coach should have discussed that with me!), did not understand the difference between training and racing nutrition (you can pig out in training sessions but not while racing), and went into the race with an ITB issue that reared its ugly head during the marathon. Look how fat I was:

Despite all that, I finished the damn thing, and I vividly remember immediately wondering why I'd chosen to do it. But it only took me a few days to answer my own question--because I did something that was hard--not just the race itself, but making a commitment to the training, because it demanded that I get in better shape than I had ever been, because it opened up a whole new world of friendships, because I really did like to swim and bike since I was a kid, but mostly because of what happened during the run.

The swim and bike of an Ironman are hard on their own, but you know during the swim that that's going to be the shortest (and probably coolest) and easiest part of your day, and you know during the bike (you absolutely must love biking to be successful at Ironman) that you just need to make it through without a mechanical, but that you can otherwise enjoy some sights and sounds and the rhythmic motion of your feet on the pedals becomes a mantra (pedal the bike...pedal the bike).

But when you get to the run, every part of your being demands you pay attention to it--your heart, your lungs, your stomach, your legs and your feet--but the thing that demands the bulk of your attention is your mind.

Funny thing, the mind! In most situations, your mind is the governor for all the other things going on in your body, but when you're running in the Ironman, you have to mind your mind! Because if you don't, you will give in to your own physical misery.

So what a great gift (such as it was) I had received when I was raped--the ability to depersonalize the physical shit and just mind my mind. I didn't really understand the connection between my own trauma and the enjoyment I derived from Ironman until a few Ironmans later, but it was there from the start.

In a way, I took a detour from it after my first Ironman, because I knew I needed to get in much better physical shape so I could go faster, and besides, I hadn't been fat for a long time. Now, my definition of fat for me is weighing over 118. In the photo above, I think I weighed about 128. But my objective of "much better shape" wasn't just about weight--it was about becoming leaner, as I'd already been reading up a boatload of books about triathlon, running, biking, swimming and endurance training in general. Here are my physical fitness bookshelves:

I've got 4 other books on my nightstand that I need to get through. I enjoy reading both scientific books as well as first person accounts of endurance events. As I began reading more first person accounts, I found myself identifying with those people. Not all of them had been through major trauma (or they didn't talk about it), but still there is a common mindset for successful endurance athletes.

I did lean out by my second Ironman, I learned about bike gearing, I started understanding how to better manage training and racing nutrition, and these things allowed me to enjoy the mental gyrations of the Ironman marathon even more! It felt to me like I'd discovered the key to serenity--train for and race an Ironman! Not everyone's cup of tea, to be sure, but it seemed to work for me. 

Also along the way of my endurance journey, I don't recall if it was recommended to me by a friend or what, but I started getting into Buddhism, only for the aspects of it that relate to suffering. One of the prime tenets of Buddhism is that we should seek to end others' suffering, but that in order to be able to do that, we must end our own suffering. And truly, I have suffered a lot.

But I will never really feel that I am suffering in an Ironman--even during Brazil in 2006 that was a month after my Mom died, and I had a raging sinus infection and got kicked squarely in the nose during the swim, I did not feel that I was suffering during the race. My Mom was dead, and I was still alive. I didn't have the race I wanted, but it was still way better than some people would have had under the same conditions. And I was very proud of that finish.

And then the very next year (2007) I did Lake Placid again and achieved a nice PR. Thanks Mom! But then Dad died late in the year, and I was completely and utterly devastated. I don't think I've ever felt so awful for such a long time. At Ironman Lake Placid in 2008, it rained all day, and physically I was miserable. But I took the rain as a gift to really let out my grief, and that was the first time I carried some of Dad's ashes with me. When I got to the final out and back on the marathon, I remembered I had him with me, and took them out (I put them in a crack baggie) and carried them the rest of the way in my hand. And when I passed someone (I found some new energy), in my head I was saying, "You just got passed by a dead guy!" And so now I take some of his ashes to all my races and I usually have a crack baggie of them on my bike whenever I ride.I leave the ashes I have with me in a race either on the course or in transition.

My Dad's last days were horrible, but I saw in him the incredible mental strength and sense of mind he had in bearing the pain he was in. I am sure he was using the depersonalization technique. What else can you do when your kidneys and liver are shutting down? So while I was in that 2008 Ironman, I kept thinking that what I was doing was nothing compared to what Dad went through.

In 2009, I did Lake Placid again and achieved my standing Ironman PR, and then I followed that up with a gift to myself of Ultraman Canada in 2010. Since then I've only done one "official" Ironman--Cozumel in 2013--but I've done a few more Nothingmans, and I think my Ironman total including them is 18 (does not include the Ultraman!). So apparently, I enjoy doing the things, ya think?

Since 2010, I've had to contend with managing hypothyroidism and a Morton's Neuroma in my right foot. Fingers crossed both are well under control now! Hence, here I am, about to go for the BQ and KQ, and pretty sure that I will then do Ultraman Hawaii.

So now you know why I virtually or actually roll my eyes when someone starts babbling about some supposedly hard shit they are doing or how they are "suffering" in training or racing or some annoyance in their life. And why I laugh when someone can't believe I would sit on a trainer for 5+ hours or run 2+ hours on a treadmill or swim 3+ hours in a 25-yard pool. It's OK if you don't have the mental skills to do those things--but don't fucking say I CAN'T. Say I Don't Want To. It just so happens that I love doing those things because they give me an opportunity to exercise channeling my inner peace by letting go of the physical and tuning into the mental.

And thus, I shall continue to strive to practice

MIND AND BODY OF IRON

I think I've become quite good at it, and am so enjoying that I get to practice the skills in my quest for a BQ and KQ next year. I am finding many friends that knew I had taken a break are back on board with me, and I can't wait to train and race with them!

Have a great day and remember the Crackhead motto:

"Harder, longer, faster, tougher, repeat."
--Crackhead

Crazy Train

Above is what my training has been since the beginning of June. The number that's crazy/scary is the average number of hours/week. As of the end of last week, I'm at 16.77. That is, honestly, fucking insane. However, I intentionally did this to myself to see, along the way, if I felt like I was really prepared to do Ironman-level training again, and possibly even Ultraman. I think I can do it!

Starting yesterday, I'm on an actual training plan written by ME, the CEO of Crackhead Enterprises, LLC. This week's training calls for only 13.75 hours, and that is what I will do. So I will actually begin resting, relatively. From yesterday through October 30, I will only be biking twice a week. This makes me sad, as I am just getting into riding with the fast people in my bike club. But, I know I can resume kicking serious ass with them starting in the spring! And I am certain my coach will want me to ride with them at least once a week. That's how I get faster! And while I am in pretty decent cycling shape right now, it can never hurt to be faster, and I really don't think I've achieved my maximum bike fitness yet! Isn't that fucking exciting? At the ripe age of (almost) 60! 

Starting next week (I have a 1/2 marathon this Sunday), I will be doing double long runs on the weekends, and I will be doing hiking after them. The hiking time is not included in my projected training hours, so it will look like I'm not scheduled for much, but then it will come out in the actuals looking like a lot.

If I take my cumulative hours as of the end of last week, and add in my projected hours through the end of the year, not including the hiking time, I will be at 829 hours for 2016, which will result in an average of 15.94 hours per week. That is close to my heaviest years of training ever, in 2009 and 2010. 2010 is when I did Ultraman Canada. So I think I have proven to myself that I can still train at a very high (elite) level. But, I need to train faster in order to meet my goals of Boston and Kona qualification. I am sure my coach will take care of that in good time. He takes the reins beginning November 1, and I am really looking forward to it! I am positive he will bring the pain, but that's how I get faster.

I have a couple of concerns about myself right now:

1. I have not been sleeping enough. I am accustomed to sleeping a bit less when I am in an Ironman build period, but lately I'm sleeping way too little. Since I know my body and know that I sometimes have the opposite reaction to thyroid dysfunction, I have scheduled a thyroid test in a few weeks. It's likely I will need my Synthroid dosage changed. You might think that sleeping less means I've become borderline hyperthyroid, but, I know from the last few years that sometimes when I feel hyper, my thyroid is actually seriously overworked and trying to keep up with my demands on it and failing. So I may need to slightly increase my Synthroid dose. Starting yesterday, I have recommitted to tracking my sleep, because this will help remind me when I'm doing well at it or not which can signal that I need a thyroid function test.
2. It dawned on me a few days ago that I have FIVE marathon+ races scheduled over the course of 12 months! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!! That can be dangerous territory. But that's why I have a coach. I will need to recover properly from each event so that I don't become injured and can keep training.

Really, that's it. I already know where I stand on my current paces for the 3 sports--swimming I don't expect or need to get much faster; running I am 2 VDOT points from where I need to be for the BQ, and I've been there before and know that is entirely achievable in under 6 months, and biking I need to ride more hills, and it's my intent to train on the Ironman Wisconsin course twice a month from May through August. To get the KQ at Wisconsin, I need to be brutally strong on the hills, so strong that I can run my good marathon afterwards. The Wisconsin course is brutal--both the bike and run--and it's funny that I never thought I would do that race again, yet that is the race where I want to win my AG and get the Kona slot! Hey--I know I'm fucking nuts, but you know what? I'm fucking proud of what I've achieved to date and that I have the chutzpah to openly broadcast my very ambitious goals.

How do I feel right now as I write this blog post?

HOLY FUCKING CRAP WHAT HAVE I DONE???

But I am excited as hell, and now every single day is important--how I eat, how I sleep, how I train, how I feel mentally, that I'm doing all the right self-care things, and that I prioritize those things above all else. All the other things in my life are important, too, especially my friends, because they will support me in this--but how clean my house is, how perfectly maintained my yard is--that bullshit doesn't matter in the least. And while I have time to attempt to run everything perfectly, I'm stating for the record that I'm just not going to even try. Things are going to go wrong, and they will be things I probably can't control so I officially surrender to the unknowns. But I'm looking forward to one fucking Cracktacular ride on the CRAZY TRAIN!

Winner Take All

I'm embarking on a big year of training and racing with some very ambitious goals. I've been going back and forth with my coach and some friends trying to decide on what races to do, in the context of my goals. Everything came together yesterday, and it felt to me like the universe was telling me it's ready for me to begin. 

The series of events were uncanny--I'd decided to reorganize my house and garage to make it easier to sew (in the case of the house) and keep clean (in the case of the garage). My best male friend (is that BMF? Really he's a BAMF!), Brad, called and said he and his wife want to come visit me for the Labor Day weekend. Good thing I got my guest bedroom in order! This weekend is when I'd planned to do the International Day of Suffering (see sidebar of races/events), so now Brad and I will do it together! That is going to be so much fun! 

I found out that a double Iron distance race that I was considering doing solo allows teams, and I started planting the seed with Brad last week that maybe we could do it together. Yesterday Brad tells me he's in for the double team thing, which is great, because he's moving to Portland and the race is like an hour from his new house, so I tell him I need to check with my coach.

Then I had found another marathon, the LA marathon, that was good timing post-Disney for me to get the BQ. Brad said he would do that, too. 

I had studied up the Kona qualification data, and it looked to me that Ironman Wisconsin would be a great place for me to qualify, plus it's in my back yard and I can train up there all summer. I ran this by my coach a few days ago, together with where I'm at, fitness-wise, in running and what time I'd need to do to get the slot at Wisconsin.

All that was left was to gain approval from my coach, Nick, to put these races on the table, and we chatted last night and it's a go! So now you can see on my sidebar what I've got planned for 2017--Disney in January, LA marathon in March (although Nick thinks I might BQ at Disney), Volcano Olympic Triathlon in Lanzarote in April (more of a vacation than anything else), team double Iron in July, and then Ironman Wisconsin in September.

I know I am going to need to buckle in for this ride and be prepared for many ups and downs. Goes with the territory. I'm already lining up people to "stalk" me during the marathon at Ironman Wisconsin. I've done this for other friends of mine where they just see me and I yell motivational things at them like Harden The Fuck Up to keep them motivated. It's time to call in some favors and have it done for me. 

Things are a ways off yet, but I know from past experience that once you sketch out the ATP (Annual Training Plan), you have a good idea of what's about to happen and it ain't going to be easy!

But I am so excited and ready for this. I've been training for all this for years. It's going to be a wild ride--I just hope it's not like this:

Stay tuned, and check the sidebar if you want to learn more about the races I'm doing.

Revolution Number Eight, or Cream City Century Ride Report aka the Ride Where Everything Goes Wrong

Huh. In writing this, I thought I'd done 9 centuries this year, but sadly it's only 8. I'd wanted to title this post "Revolution Number 9" for obvious reasons, but I couldn't. Still, that's 850 (2 of them were 200k rides all or partly on the trainer!) miles of happy biking goodness! My first century this year was on June 5, and since then I've also done 3 triathlons (and won 2 of them!). So that's a lot of happiness packed into 3 months! I don't write up all century rides in such elaborate detail as what follows, but it was my last one of the year, and I really savored the day, and so grab a coffee or beer or 3 and enjoy!

Yesterday was my last century ride for 2016--the Cream City Century out of Waterford, Wisconsin. This ride was recommended to me by Tim of my bike club. In case I haven't said it a million times already, I am SO glad I joined the Downers Grove Bike Club. So many good riders belong and of course, are all wonderful people to know! I love biking and I love people who love biking! It's like I'm in a big love fest every time I ride with them!

The weather for yesterday was predicted to be awesome--low 80's with light winds 5-10mph, and the weather delivered! You can't really get better than that, although mid- to upper 70's is wonderful, too. But this late in August, low 80's don't really feel that bad.

Initially, the plan was to ride with Tim, and have him pace me to my fastest century of the year. However, Tim came down with a cold, and also his primary bike was in the shop. I told him he needs more bikes if he can't ride because ONE is in the shop!

I posted to the bike club Google group in case anyone else was planning on going, but had no takers as of Friday. I didn't mind, because I always find people to ride with when I show up to these things.

I woke up at 3AM yesterday (alarm was set for 3:30) so I'd have plenty of time to eat, down the Ultra Violence (Twinlab Ultra Fuel) and drive the 88 miles to Waterford.

I've been using Ultra Fuel for 16 years, thanks to my first coach, Mike Arenberg (he's in the book Becoming an Ironman, and his first triathlon ever was an Ironman!). It's basically 100% carbohydrates that you mix with water and drink to load up before long events. It was formulated for bodybuilders, but I use it whenever I'm working out 4 or more hours. One of my friends used to sip hers over the course of an hour, but I just down the entire thing (I mix it with about 16 oz. of water), and then proceed to go into an insulin coma.

I ate my usual breakfast, coffee plus a hard boiled egg on a toasted whole wheat English muffin (how English can it be if it's whole wheat?) with a little jam, had one more soft boiled egg, drank 300 calories of Ultra Fuel, and then I drank a Coke on the drive up. I cook 8 eggs at once so I have 7 for a week, and the 8th one is on top of the others and comes out soft-boiled and I eat it immediately! I love eggs, and they are good for me, and my cholesterol is just fine, thank you very much! I also drank about 16 oz. of water after breakfast.

So, I had a bit over 800 calories in the tank before I started riding. I know from all the years I've been doing this endurance stuff (and great coaches) that you want to be loaded up before anything long. One of the effects is that you really don't feel like going fast right away, because you are still working off a significant calorie load. But the main reason to do this is that you will never replace the calories you are burning, and you probably won't be eating lunch during your session, so you can still bonk without sufficient calories in the tank beforehand, even if you are ingesting enough while you are exercising. I've ridden with so many people who fail to fuel up properly beforehand, and then they wonder why I am still so strong at the end of century rides. Sigh...they should listen to me.

In my cooler were (2) 3-hour bottles of Infinit (my super electrolyte/caffeine loaded custom mix called Money Shot delivering 244 calories/hour), 2 bottles of water, a bike bottle of Gatorade for the drive home in case I wanted it, a bike bottle of just water (Skull Kingdom's frame is so small I can only put a 20-oz. bottle into the cage on the down tube, and when I use concentrated Infinit that bottle holds pure water), 1 Bass Ale for post-ride, 2 pieces of string cheese for post-ride, 1 frozen water-filled bottle of Coke (that's my trusty cooler ice!) and a frozen bottle of Endurox R4 for my recovery drink. Freezing the Endurox R4 lets it act as ice for the other cooler contents, and then it comes down to still being cold after a century ride! 

I left my house about 5:00. I had thought I'd leave earlier, but it's funny how things to do expand when I'm getting ready for these things, and besides I wasn't planning on doing anything else for the day!

I pulled out of my driveway and figured I'd start in on the Coke at 5:30. I listened to Diamonds and Pearls by Prince on the way up. Such a good album! I didn't speed too much, and didn't drive in the left lane much except to pass. I decided to stop at the Lake Forest Oasis (that's what we call the over-the-highway things in Illinois) to pee. All that coffee, water, Ultra Fuel and Coke necessitated the stop. I walk in to the building, and who do I see? Dennis, a guy from my bike club, that I'd ridden with 3 weeks ago, only I didn't remember his name. But we hugged (and I got French kisses on both cheeks!), and he introduced Scott, whom I'd met at bike club meetings but didn't remember his name, either. I assumed they were going to the same ride and they were, and I asked if I could ride with them, and they said sure. Scott hadn't ridden a century this year, and thus started the sandbagging. It's a tradition with these things, although I didn't trot out any of my own yesterday. Sure, I'm probably training a whole lot more than either of them, but I have no excuse not to ride a decent pace.

I left the Oasis a couple of minutes before the guys, only because I only had to pee and they were eating breakfast. I pulled out back onto I94, and not too long after, here comes a white SUV hauling ass. I decide to keep pace with it and it turns out it's Dennis with Scott driving! Well they keep going ahead of me, and before you know it we are going 100mph. I've never gone that fast in this car (it's only 2 years old), and I don't make a habit of going much over 85 on the interstates. I catch up to them and make some hand signals while smiling like WTF how fast are we going to drive? Scott dialed it back down to 90-95, and I (wrongly) assumed he had a radar detector and so would pick up any threats along the way. From the Oasis, it was about 34 miles to our exit, 333 (US 20).

Well holy fuck, that was some fun driving! Turns out I like driving my car fast! I didn't realize that we were supposed to race on the way to a century. Everyone knows that any century ride is a race even if you don't say it out loud. We get to Waterford High School, where the ride begins, and we park side by side. We get out and I immediately note that I have a bladder the size of a teacup and so I need to hustle in to pick up my T-shirt and cue sheet (which they spelled QUE at the table with the sheets on it which I thought was funny). I was pre-registered, so it was a snap to get my crap, but Dennis and Scott needed to register. Back at the Oasis, I'd asked why they didn't post to the Google group that they were doing the ride, and Scott said it was because they only decided at 4PM on Saturday!

At the registration table, I was standing next to Dennis, and I looked at his well-muscled legs, and commented, "My legs are bigger than yours!" Judge for yourself:

I'm shorter than Dennis but my legs are bigger. Does that mean I'm fat?

To which the guy manning the table, who by the way, was wearing a fucking awesome Spider Man kit, remarked, "But yours are much nicer to look at!" I probably blushed and thanked him. Then it was off to get our bikes out of the cars and get set to ride. I showed the boys the bottle of beer I had stashed for later. In retrospect, I should have brought more, but how would I know I'd be meeting up with people I know?

We took off, and initially, it was misting. There was a good deal of fog on the drive up, and after we'd turned off I94 it was pretty thick. It reminded me of when I was driving from the Albany airport to Lake Placid in 2007 and I was freaking out because the fog was pea soup and I could barely see the road. Great memories!

The mist felt fine on me, It was so light it didn't make a difference. I was a teeny bit chilly, as the temperature wasn't yet 70 as we started. Still, right off the bat, the 3 of us are passing people with aplomb. As we started to hit some hills, I lagged behind, because my hill skills suck right now--I haven't really ridden much hills since 2012, so it's natural I suck at it currently. But we'll fix that next year. Anyway, about 10 miles in, I'm not far behind the boys and I think my front brake is rubbing, and I stop and I was right. I fix that, and hope I might catch back up, but then I hit what felt like a pothole and shortly after that, I'm on a downhill and things don't feel right and I am thinking, "Please don't be a flat, please don't be a flat!" But I knew it was a flat. Fuck. My first flat this year.

I pull over and begin the process, only it's hard for me to get the tire off the rim because I sliced the tip of my right index finger (I'm right-handed) off Saturday night while slicing celery on the mandoline, and while I had it well-bandaged up, it still hurt to put pressure on it. So a guy stopped and asked if I needed help, and I explained my finger issue, and he started to help.He seemed nervous, though, I think because he'd never worked on a deep-dish wheel. Still, he got the tire off the rim, I inspected the tire and it looked fine, and I figure the pothole did it. Something got in there and jacked the tube. Oh well.

So we have the tube in there and the tire back on the rim and we use the CO2 and presto we're good. Only we're not. Either Craig didn't fully get the tire back on the rim or the CO2 blew it partly off. Now I'm fucked because the valve stem is (at least I thought) too far down the extender to get to to deflate the tube so I can put the tire back on the rim. Nobody, not Craig, not any passing cyclist, not me, has a long enough, thin enough tool to get at it. I'm fucked. I call for SAG and get voicemail. I try not to panic, and I didn't panic, but I really wanted to get in 100 miles! SAG never called me back and finally I unscrew the valve extender and fuck me there's the valve tip! So I deflate the thing and along come Tom and Suzanne, and Tom put the tire back on the rim and he had a regular pump and we got enough air into it to get me to the first rest stop at 25 miles in. What a clusterfuck! Well, lesson learned.

That was the first time I had a flat on the HED wheels.I know that I will continue to pay the extra $ for the tubes with the ultra long stems so that I know I can get to the damn thing without the valve extender!

Crisis averted, I thought it was the nice thing to do to ride with Tom and Suzanne for a bit. Tom was on a road bike and Suzanne on a cruiser, but boy they weren't slow! Turns out they'd ridden a century the day before and were obviously avid cyclists! What nice people! See this is what I love about biking! Suzanne asked where I was from, and she'd known someone who lived quite near to me! She asked what "I do" there, and I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Job." And I told her I was done. I asked them both the same. Tom still works in IT for a small bank, and Suzanne said she is, "finding herself." She had done economic development work overseas, and said it was hard to get those jobs in safe (i.e., non-war zones) areas now, so she was testing out other options.

I rode with them for maybe 5-6 miles, and then I just needed to go faster, so I just rode off. I knew they wouldn't mind. Friends and other cyclists let friends and other cyclists go fast!

I got to the first rest stop at 25 miles and was relieved to get there, and asked for a pump and we loaded my front tire up. Of course, I got all sorts of comments on Skull Kingdom, and one of the bike club volunteers wanted a picture of me with her, so I obliged, and he took one for me:

His name was Ken, and I told him I wouldn't hate him just because he has the same name as my ex-husband. He even told me how to pose when taking the picture. I'm sporting my brand new POC aero helmet. Another first for this ride. Frankly, I don't think it's faster than my traditional aero helmets, but maybe that's because of how small I am. Still, it's a plenty comfortable helmet, and one of the things I really like about it is that it really keeps the sun out of my eyes.

Shortly before I arrived at 25 miles, I heard something fall off my bike. It was a little baggie of valve extenders and tools. Turns out I'd failed to zip my seat bag back up and it had fallen out. In the process, I lost an EpiPen that was in there, so I hoped I didn't get stung. Oh well, life goes on. 

I left the rest stop and now I had to ride the 25-mile loop that was only for the century, and since I'd lost time with the flat, I was out there all by myself. It was boring and lonely, and the roads sucked. But the scenery was beautiful and the weather was awesome, so I really couldn't complain. About 6 miles before the next aid station at 50 miles (we returned to the first one for a second visit), I see a guy riding up ahead and figure I can catch him. He was wearing a hot pink jersey. I ride up to him and ask if he's on the century ride, and he says no, is there a century today? Yes. Well, obviously I'm faster than him, but as I pass, he speeds up and rides alongside me. So I say, "So you don't like it when a woman passes you?" He lied a little and said, "No, I just like the company." Well I'm thinking obviously you've been slacking if you can ride this pace but you weren't. Turns out he was doing his last long ride before Ironman Wisconsin. I asked him how many Ironmans he's done and this was going to be #3. He never did ask me the same question, but that's fine, I'm not out there to impress anyone but myself. He said he was just finishing an 80-mile ride and then running 6, and I said that's perfect and then you taper! I apologized that I wouldn't be up there this year to cheer, and wished him good luck, and then he turned off and I continued on to the rest stop.

This time at the rest stop, I had a half turkey/cheese sandwich. It was SO FUCKING GOOD! Even though I carry enough calories for normal circumstances, when I ride centuries during heavy training, extra calories are always welcome, and I do enjoy a hit of protein. I adjusted my Infinit bottles and headed out onto the next section.

Somewhere in this stretch, I either launched one of my Infinit bottles or else I left it at the rest stop. Another first. Fuck. Oh well, I still have 3 and can buy another one. I like them because they have lines drawn on them already. I'm not going to do that to any of my precious Ironman bottles!

There were 2 guys that I passed on this stretch, but then I thought maybe I'd like to pee and so I turned off on a little side road just before a big climb. Turns out I didn't need to pee, so 1 mile later, I'm climbing this big hill and there are other riders and I didn't do too badly on the climb, but some dumbasses (including my 2 NOT friends that I'd passed earlier) were riding side by side! Stupid fucking people! Then the road got really curvy and still the dumb shits are riding side by side while cars are trying to get around in a NO PASSING ZONE. Idiots.

Anyway, I caught back up to my 2 NOT friends, as I am faster than them, and I almost cussed them out for riding side by side, but I chose not to because who needs the anger?

We get to the next rest stop and it was just a thing off the side of the road across the street from what appeared to be a combination bike shop/bar. Only in Wisconsin! They had a rack to put our bikes on, and immediately one of the volunteers commented on how fast my bike looks, and said I must ride fast. I said, well I try, and that I won't even ride this bike if I don't feel like I'm fast enough for it. He said that was odd, and then I told him about a friend of mine, Dino, who has a really cool Trek with a flame paint job and that he puts tape around the frame and only starts taking it off as he gets closer to his target fitness/speed!

At this rest stop, I had another first--I ate a dill pickle! It was tasty, and I hoped it wouldn't upset my stomach. I was now out of Infinit, and figured I'd need the salt. I filled a bottle with the Gatorade they had, which was way, way too weak for my liking, but I had no choice. I took off and immediately began having trouble clipping in my left shoe. It had been truculent all day, but now I just couldn't get it in. Tough to ride fast like that. A guy named Dave stopped and clamped the shoe on there for me, and I thanked him and asked if I could ride with him. He said yeah, and we weren't going extremely fast, but a few miles later, we saw a pair of riders up ahead, and I said, "Let's go catch them." And Sandbagger Dave flies ahead like he has another entire gear! I work hard to catch up and I do, and we fly by these youngsters. Dave was hilarious and kept making stupid jokes like he hoped he'd finish the century before sundown! I enjoyed riding with him, and he said his quads were getting twitchy and it worried him because the last leg of the ride had a lot of FUCKING HILLS! Finally someone else throwing F-bombs! I commented that I throw them probably way too much, and then I said, "So they're not just hills--they're FUCKING HILLS?" We both had a good laugh, and then he remarked that the hills were going to wear him out, to which I said, "That's what hills are for!" And then I said, "Don't hate the hill--hate the rider!"

Dave and I made it to the 85 or so mile rest stop, and as soon as I parked Skull Kingdom, one of the volunteers shouted, "YOUR WHEELS ARE ON FIRE!" Of course, I smiled broadly at this, and everyone had a good laugh and a few riders went over to Skull Kingdom to take a look at her. Here's Dave and me:

And here's just me and Skull Kingdom, because as usual, the volunteers wanted a picture of her and I asked them to take one of me:

Guess who was reclining in lawn chairs here? DENNIS AND SCOTT! I was like WTF are you doing here, and it was partly due to Scott not having ridden a century this year. I was glad to see them, told them I'd had a flat, but all in all, I couldn't have been riding too shabby, right? I ate a small handful of Cheetos they had there (YUM!), and said let's go. Dave took off by himself, so now it was me, Dennis and Scott.

Dave had warned of the hills and he wasn't kidding. Now they came one after the next, and my legs were well fried by now, but I had to press on. I went up front, and I always worry that I'm not riding fast enough when I'm with guys, but then I think I'm usually wrong. Anyway, with about 5 miles to go, who should be stopped by the side of the road but Dave? He really was hurting. I waved as I went by and now thought I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKING DONE. And when I hit 100 miles, I was like HOW MANY FUCKING MILES IS THIS RIDE??? Those are typical thoughts during a century, because while they are advertised as 100 miles, YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. Plus I know I added at least a mile on my little detour.

One again, my 2 NOT friends were still riding side by side, the assholes, and once again, I passed them soundly. I bit my tongue and this time asked the guy on the Bianchi which race he'd done. Earlier I was sort of an asshole when I saw the number on his helmet and asked, "What race are you doing RIGHT NOW because there's a number on your helmet?" I dislike it when people leave numbers on their helmets or bikes after a race. I know for newbies, it's a badge of honor, and I excuse them (if they are on let's say a hybrid or MTB), but decent cyclists I wonder what's wrong with them. Anyway, Bianchi dude tells me he did a 1/2 Ironman in Door County. Beautiful place. He said the race was really nice. I congratulated him and went on.

I got to my car just a few minutes before Dennis and Scott pulled in. I immediately grabbed a piece of the string cheese to wolf down because I felt an impending bonk coming on. I had already put on my Reef flip flops with the bottle openers in the soles, and I took out my cooler and said, "Watch this!" I took out the bottle of Bass Ale and opened it with my shoe! It foamed over a bit, and Dennis asked if it was warm, and I said, "No. I'm a professional. I know how to keep things cool in the cooler for a century!" I sucked that thing down so fast--it was just what the doctor ordered! I asked if anyone needed dirty clothes bags (the high school had the showers open for us!), and both guys said yes, I loaded bike into car, grabbed my bag of clothes, towel and toiletries, and went in.

I immediately took out my contact lenses, which felt SO GOOD! Then I took the BEST SHOWER EVER! Someone had left a bar of soap in there, but I brought my own shampoo and conditioner. I toweled off and got dressed and was ready for FOOD!

They had lunch (or whatever it was--due to delay of game it was already 3:30) set up in the school cafeteria. A small salad, spaghetti and meatballs, bread slathered with butter and a bottle of water, and I think I shoveled it all in in record time! Dennis and Scott were just a bit behind me, yakking with other people including Tom and Suzanne! Dennis has a business where he makes custom jerseys and shorts and stuff, so if you need that sort of thing, let me know and I'll hook you up.

I sat across from the boys and was probably yammering at high speed which is what happens when you are all endorphined up and had a shit ton of caffeine to boot. Turns out Scott is the chief radiologist at Good Samaritan Hospital in Downers Grove, which is where I have had many radiology things run on me. As I described my physician as "she," Scott knew who she was, and then he made a dry joke (I guess radiologists have a dry sense of humor) that he'd seen me before. Well now I finally understood what his vanity plate meant--BCUN U SOON. Earlier I'd thought it was just a "see you soon" thing, but I was wrong. I really enjoyed talking to Scott. He wasn't aware of just how much I train, and he understood the physiological challenges I encounter being hypothyroid and all. I described a little of my "journey" with that and how I was eminently aware of its impact on carbohydrate metabolism and sodium processing, and that sometimes I've been told I'm crazy, but he knows I'm not. He asked if I told my doctor just how much training I do, and I have, but really, it's hard for some people to understand. He told me to try telling them how many calories I am pumping through my body, and that that would help them understand why it's critical I be regulated on Synthroid properly.

We finished up and I told Scott I wouldn't be driving 100mph on the way home, and that I'd need to stop for gas about 10 miles out. We said our goodbyes, but here's me with Scott, and that's Tom and Suzanne in the background:

and here are Dennis and Scott:

I told them both I planned on winning the dessert competition at the annual bike club picnic in 3 weeks. I'm making individual Margarita Pies and chocolate chip bacon cookies.

I gassed up (cheap gas in Wisconsin!) and proceeded to drive home, mostly in the left lane, but no more than 85mph. Everyone was going fast, so I wasn't standing out. I drank the Endurox R4 (still cold!) on the drive back. When I got home, I drank another beer, wolfed down a small deli container of seafood salad, and then later I had a huge bowl of the sausage/tomato pasta I'd made on Saturday. I was well and truly shelled! That was a 21-hour training week last week, including one brick workout, one duathlon workout, one century ride, 33.5 miles of running, 175 miles of biking, 11,000 yards of swimming, 1.5 hours of strength training and lots of food! I lamented the fact that I am still without candy! My friend Brad will come through, though, soon enough, and all will be well.

I had such a wonderful day yesterday, despite things going wrong and riding slower than I'd wanted to. All in all, it was 104.6 miles in 6:18, which is slow for me, but it reminded me of all the hill riding I will need to do next year, especially since Ironman Wisconsin will be on the table, and that is where I will earn my Kona slot!

Hope you enjoyed this little novella--I enjoy writing it down!

She's Baaaaaaaaaaack!

Welcome to my new blog! For reasons I can't discuss here, I have archived my old blog. This blog is a fresh start. My entire life is a fresh start!

WARNING: If you did not read my previous blog, sit down and maybe put earplugs in your ears. I write exactly like I talk, and that includes fucking cuss words much of the time. I don't always swear, but get me riled up (e.g., cut me the fuck off while I'm biking, be oblivious to normal lane mechanics in the pool or just be stupid or an asshole), and I will let loose. But you will also see that there is another side of me that is very much into nature, self-growth, math, art, music, cooking and trying to be a good human being. So if you can put up with the swearing, you just might find something here. But it's your choice--you don't like it--DON'T FUCKING READ IT!

I left my full time job on January 29, 2016. It was a voluntary exit. Why did I leave? Because the job interfered with my main hobby--TRIATHLON! I was stressed out, working far too many hours, and becoming depressed. So I said FUCK THAT after I figured out that I had saved enough money to pull the plug on that shit. I was also beginning to figure out how to resolve the Morton's Neuroma that I've had in my right foot since 2010. Since that time, I've tried countless insoles, metatarsal pads, new orthotics, different shoes and just fucking praying for the thing to go away. It caused the ball of my right foot to hurt while running. Not all the time--just once I was like 40 minutes in. That fucking sucked! Well anyway, the solution for me was:

• Wider shoes. I measured my feet accurately and turns out I need to wear wide (D width) running shoes and some casual/dress shoes.
• An ingenious fucking device--a toe ring! I bought a pack of 10 of these things only because my tri baby Brad convinced me to race (after a 13-month layoff!), and I wanted something better than what I had been using that might even stay on my foot while swimming. I had been using a cut off piece from a toe manicure toe separator.

Check it out! I wear this while running and biking, and sometimes with regular footwear. I don't need to wear it while wearing flip-flops or barefoot. Since I began this protocol, I have experienced ZERO pain in the foot! 

So, with my foot figured out and ALL THE FUCKING TIME IN THE WORLD TO TRAIN, I started training in earnest again in April. There's another event here that I can't talk about (which is the reason behind archiving the old blog) that coincided with all this, but guess what happened? I train for 2 months, start racing and start WINNING again! Needless to say, I start having fun (I love training, but I love racing and I LOVE WINNING!), and start thinking about where I want to go with all this.

About a month or so ago, I started thinking maybe a Double Ironman was in order. After all, I've done an Ultraman, and so a Double would really be no big deal (well not big for ME). The best fucking thing about being retired is that I can train like a fucking madwoman, recover from it, have time for a social life, and still enjoy my other hobbies like cooking, sewing, gardening, and well--have time to spend on home maintenance projects!

So I'm thinking about what I want to do with my triathlon chops, since my endurance never really went away. Check out my training hour history:

As you can see, despite my former job sucking the life out of me during 2014 and 2015, I still managed to put in a decent amount of training--although swimming was the one thing I dropped whenever I wasn't "feeling it," which is why my swimming currently sucks. BUT, I managed to not be pathetic in terms of biking. If I don't put in at least 5,000 miles in a year, I consider that pathetic. But the 2 prior years I was sneaking a bit of biking here and there, way too much fucking time on the trainer, and not really doing anything intense. Same for running--since I have a treadmill in my house, and I was working at home, I could always go downstairs and get a couple miles in.

Well fast forward to this summer, and much to my delight, I figure out that I can do as much as I want ALL THE TIME! Of course, I still need to be careful I don't go overboard, as I love this stuff so much that I will drill myself into the ground! So I started biking a lot more, and I rejoined my local bike club, and that got me motivated to start improving my biking so I could get back the speed I used to have and maybe even surpass it. 

If you had talked to me in April, you would have heard me say that I didn't think I ever wanted to ride another century or do another Ironman. But then a friend got me into Tour de Cure ride, and said the team I'd be on needed 100-mile riders. I figured I still remember how to ride 100 miles, and it would be a good opportunity to figure out if I wanted to go that direction again. But I didn't want that to be my first century, so I did one the week prior--the Udder Century on June 5. I would say that 20 miles into that ride, I was grinning ear to ear and thinking I FUCKING LOVE THIS!!! I was so happy, and I only had one low spot during that ride, but I pushed through. Udder Century was my first 100 since Ironman Cozumel in December, 2013! I rode by myself and averaged just shy of 17mph. Not bad for a century comeback, eh?

Towards the end of Udder Century, I met the membership coordinator for the Downers Grove Bike Club--Tim. I saw 2 guys wearing Downers Grove jerseys, and rode up to them and we talked, and I said I'd think about rejoining, and let's meet up after the ride. So I finish the ride and Tim and Bob come and sit down to lunch with me. The first thing Tim says to me is, "Do you ever ride with women?" I said, "If they are fast enough!" And thus began a new friendship and I rejoined the club, and Tim asked me if I'd considered a sub-5 century. Well, um...no. Keep reading.

A few weeks ago, my 2nd BFF, Lori (Susan is my 1st BFF and you will hear a lot about her, even though she doesn't do triathlons) and I are talking, and she tells me I can basically cherry-pick a Kona qualifier now. I have the time to train properly and travel whenever I want. That got me thinking.

Then just last week I had a revelation--I've never gone for the BQ (Boston marathon qualification), and I should see what my BQ time is. Well, it's 4:25, and I'm pretty confident I can knock that out. And in October I'm going to Vegas to spend time with Susan, run a 50k, then celebrate the fucking shit out of me turning 60. Then in January, I'm going back to Disney to do Dopey Challenge--I've done Goofy (1/2 and full marathon on consecutive days) 3 times, and it's about fucking time I collect the other medals (Dopey is 5k/10k/half marathon/marathon). So I'll be a running machine, and I should be able to collect the BQ sometime in the spring.

Then I remember Tim telling me I should go for sub-5 century, and you know what happens next--I publicly proclaim I want the BQ, the sub-5 and the KQ (Kona Qualification). And also to be able to do a handstand, which should be achievable quickly. So here I am! I have hired a coach, Nick (one of my tri babies--we met at Ironman Lake Placid some years ago), who I am going to entrust with helping me achieve my goals. First things first--he believes I can do all this. He knows how I like to train, he's done Ultraman and we've talked training and coaching in the past.

So now I get to embark on this new adventure of shooting for the moon! Curiously enough, there's a full moon, and so here we go!

I have one more multisport race for the year--a duathlon on 9/18--where I intend to win my AG. Although I want to do a 1/2 NothingMan (for those of you new to me and my terminology, a NothingMan is a self-supported triathlon) over Thanksgiving weekend, coach-permitting. Starting 9/5, I begin concerted run training for the 50k and Dopey.

It's going to be weird for me to be coached again, but I know that I need to rely on forces outside myself to help me with my ambitious goals. And I know I will also get a lot of love and support from my immediate friends as well as my extended Facebook network. Of course, I do have some anxiety about all of this--who wouldn't? Seriously, nearly every day now, I pinch myself because my life is so wonderful! Here my financial planner had been encouraging me to quit my job for several years, and since I didn't grow up with much money, I had been reluctant to quit, and was prepared to work to the age of 62. But as fate would have it, it appears all my stars have aligned and I am free to revel in all my Crackheaded glory!

Thanks for reading and I am so looking forward to regular blogging again!