Started with my new Coach!

As of 11/7, I am operating under orders from my new coach, Nick Logan. We met in person maybe 10 years ago at an Ironman after finding out about one another via the Slowtwitch forum (which I rarely view anymore). He was a serious weight lifter turned endurance athlete, and I was, well, a Crackhead. It was fun to meet!

Fast forward to 2014, and Nick was doing his first Ultraman, and he reached out to ME for any advice I might have. I'd trained for Ultraman while working full time (hint: REALLY FUCKING HARD!), and so I had one perspective on it, and I'd done it self-coached.

Move to 2014, where I once again thought I'd be able to do Ultraman Hawaii. That never panned out because work stress and other things conspired to knock that goal down. At the time, though, I did a concerted search for a coach and had considered Nick.

Having retired (permanently? who knows?) this year and feeling like I can give big goals another go, I decided Nick was the person I wanted to coach me. Why?

• He knows how I typically like to train. I.e., A LOT.
• He knows I've had some fairly good race results and that I consider myself fairly competitive.
• He's done Ultraman and so in case I decide I want to go that route again, I consider him qualified to coach me.
• He's morphed into quite a successful triathlete, and frankly, I wouldn't even consider being coached by someone who wasn't.
• He's very down to earth--at least compared to me. 

We started the conversation after I announced I wanted to do BIG THINGS next year, and I decided that the formal time to start would be after I'd finished the 50k that I did on 10/29. The reason I picked that date was because I needed to see if I could even DO that race (I know, I know--self-confidence crisis!) and see where that left my fitness.

So we began talking in earnest last week while I was taking a huge rest week from the 50k. Whereas in my own training plan, I would continue a relative rest period this week, as it turns out, I'm not resting this week! But that's fine by me! Nick is testing me to see what I can do this week, and we're fine-tuning some aspects of how I need to operate in order for him to coach me as best as he can--things like equipment (gadgets, swim tools), workout terminology, and some other things like when can I ride Death Machine?

Meanwhile, on my own, I've started my quest to be able to do a handstand and 10 pullups. While it would be really cool if I accomplished this by the end of the year, in reality, I have no idea how long it will take. However, I have committed to almost daily work towards the goals. Right now this involves doing wall (or couch or shelves or whatever I'm around) planks, additional dumbbell rows (I already do those as part of my strength training so now I just get to do them every day!), Smith machine bodyweight rows (I'm doing these at my Y, but I'm going to see if I can rig up something at home or maybe it's time to get a squat rack) and dead hangs. I already know that I have great core strength because the wall planks are more arm/upper back things than core things for me.

Another thing I'm working on is correcting a problem I'm having with my right calf/behind the knee area possibly popliteus muscle. I really don't think I'm injured, because sometimes the pain/discomfort is completely gone. I think it may be related to correcting my right foot mechanics and also driving more. In that vein, I'm adding additional stretches and body work to my daily routine, I've ditched the office chair again for the stability ball, and I've reinstalled a cushion in my car seat because bucket seats mess up my soleus and back (as they do to most people--contact me if you want to know more about this), and I've been driving a lot this year and forgot how that messes me up. I have 100% confidence I'll lick this all soon enough. It hasn't stopped me from running or biking.

I am really happy to be working with a coach again! Seriously, without me working, I'm inclined to train myself into the ground, so I need help to not do that, but I also am pursuing serious competitive goals and I needed help with that. And even though I am quite self-motivated, I am already finding that just having someone else to be accountable to is raising my motivation level, and possibly my work output! I so want to do well! I'm fortunate in that I only live .8 miles from my pool, can strength train (which I'm still doing on my own--Nick isn't writing workouts for that!) and do treadmill running at home, so I have zero excuses for not being able to do workouts. I can plod through snow if I have to to get to the pool!

This is all so exciting for me and gives me a renewed sense of purpose. Now if I can just figure out how to make time to study for that damn personal trainer certification...seriously, though, my life is so much better doing the amount of training I like to do while not working. When I did it working, I had ZERO play in my schedule. Now I can visit with friends and family regularly, attend beer club...er...bike club meetings, take time to chat with others before/after workouts instead of rushing off to get back to work, cook nice stuff for myself all the time, spend more time supporting my friends' athletic efforts, and I think, just be a better person. Because when all is said and done, that's why I do all this stuff--it makes me a better person. Now, sure, I want to be better than certain other persons in my age group, but other than that, I just want to be a stand-up human being, good friend and someone people like to be around.

EIGHT WEEKS TO DOPEY CHALLENGE! SHIT! This weekend I'm doing a 25k race that has almost half the climbing of the 50k I did just 2 weeks ago! I have no idea how I will do, but at least I know I won't be running on rocks! I've got 2 black toenails and 2 more that are sketchy that will probably join in after the 25k. Oh well! It's past flip flop season!

In summary, it's always a good thing to change things up--your S/B/R training, your stretching, your strength training. I dare you to make big changes of your own!

Excessive Ironman Spectating

When this is most of your laundry from TWO DAYS of training and spectating, I think it means you're doing it right!

I love spectating at an Ironman race and supporting friends and strangers! However, I always end up training/exercising more than I have scheduled for myself and end up in a calorie hole the day after.

On Sunday, the day of Ironman Louisville, I took in:

• a Balance Bar (about 225 calories) and a hard-boiled egg (about 72 calories) for breakfast. 
• I drank 24 oz. of Infinit (about 240 calories) while running and walking before and during the swim (until about 8:30)
• I drank 2.beers mid-day (1 prior to driving around the bike course and one with lunch) for about 280 calories
• I had 2 fish tacos, a good number of chips and salsa, a little bit of refried beans and about 1/3 cup of rice for lunch. I'm guessing 600 calories?
• I did not eat dinner, but at the end of the day had some really good pretzels with sinful cheese dip. Let's say 300 calories.

Well that's a problem--that only adds up to about 1700 calories taken in for the day. I need at least 1800 just to survive without exercising.

The KNOWN exercise (there was more walking, but how much who knows?) that I did:

• 1 hour of running
• 1.5 hours of walking (probably more). This was the deliberate stuff that I actually measured. I'd planned on 30 minutes, but then Shelley and I walked back to our hotel from the race site.
• 19.5 miles of biking. Let's call that an hour

Let's say I burn 500 calories/hour for the running and biking and 320 for the walking. So I burned about 1500 calories that I know of. Huh. BAD CALORIES INTAKE!!! So at the end of the day, I was at least 1500 calories down. I probably depleted most of my glycogen reserves.

On Monday morning, I ate another Balance Bar and an egg, then I had a McGriddle when we stopped on the way from Louisville to Indianapolis. As I was driving from Indianapolis back home, I drank a 24-oz. bike bottle of Gatorade. I got home and felt sated and not hungry. Then I went for a swim. 2800 yards. I drank maybe 4 oz. of Gatorade. As soon as I got out of the pool, I was like hmm...I think I'm bonking. And I was. I drank some more Gatorade, showered, managed to stretch for 5 minutes in the sauna then I rushed home to eat. That was the point I realized I was physically tired, too! So while I thought I might get in a short run, I decided it was best to just bag it for the day and give my legs some rest. It's been 13 days since I didn't run, walk or bike on a given day!

Last week, I put in 39 miles of running, 20 miles of walking, 78 miles of biking, 10,300 yards of swimming and about 1:45 of strength training. Well no wonder the fuck I was bonking yesterday after spectating for a day!  I should really know better by now to try and eat even more when I am doing that. I did OK for breakfast and the big lunch, but dinner FAIL. It's just hard to stop for dinner when you are busy looking for people you know and cheering on the strangers! That's ok--it's well worth the sacrifice! Note to self: next time I do this, at lunch I will get a sandwich to carry and eat later. 

Today, I'm back on my game. I am actually tapering this week for my 50k, although I am racing a 1/2 marathon on Saturday and doing a 5k as a fun run on Sunday. I want to do well at the 1/2 marathon, even though I'm swimming 5k the day before. Such is my life! Also, unfortunately, I will be attending a funeral for a friend's son who just passed away. It is things like that that make me so grateful for the life I have.

Speaking of grateful, last Friday I decided it was time for me to knuckle down once I was back from Louisville. So today I wrote 10 things for me to do on the big mirror in my bedroom. They are probably a little hard to read:

what with the light and mirror and all. What they say are:

1. No more candy. I am giving the rest away. I really don't need it at all. See #2.
2. >Fruit which means eat more fruit. I have not been eating enough.
3. Quit being fat. Yes, I can stand to lean out a bit more. If I do #1 and #2, that will take care of this.
4. Read! I have so many books that are unread or started. I don't really WATCH much TV, but I have it on, so I will focus more on just turning the damn thing off and reading the books! The 2 I am going to finish up are "Life of a Triathlete" by Meredith Kessler and "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" by Richard P. Feynman.
5. Go Hard! 
6. Enjoy!
7. Be Grateful
8. Love
9. Don't Give a Fuck
10. Win!

That about covers me through at least January; probably more like March! At that point, I suspect I'll be in some pretty intensive training and I should be able to cross out #1 and #3. #4 might go by the wayside, too, but the rest should remain pretty much constant.

I am happy I'm not traveling out of town for 3 weeks. Even though I'm racing this weekend, and my birthday is the following weekend, not spending hours driving and being away from home will give me some much needed rest. And I can focus more on my own training and racing. I still have planning to do before this weekend's racing, and of course, for the 50k. But that's fun stuff! Today (aside from what I've already accomplished) I get to run and bike, and I'm breaking in new running shoes. That will be fun! Of course, obsessing about races burns calories, so I'll stay on top of that, too!

Have a great day and week!

Let's Keep This Thing Rolling!

Let's see--my last post was on Friday. A lot has happened since then! On Saturday, I ended up running on the treadmill for 2:10 and covered just over 12 miles (so nice, easy pace), and then I walked 6 miles in 1:20. I had fun while I was on the treadmill at my YMCA, and periodically had visitors, so I asked one guy to snap a picture of me:

I think I ate everything in sight once I was home! My legs were sore, but I expected that!

Then on Sunday, I went to Greene Valley so I could do my second long run in the flats and then end by walking up and down the big 1-mile hill. Only I really ended up more or less running up and down the hill! My flatness running time was about 9.5 miles in 1:30 and then I did another about 5 miles up and down the hill in :57. I had a great time on Sunday, too--the weather was great, and I tested out some other equipment that I might use in my 50k this month--I forgot I had the awesome trail hat. It has a skirt, but I didn't need it on Sunday. And I wore the arm coolers--not sure I will need them, but they felt nice on a cool day. And of course the Fuel Belt loaded with Infinit. Here I am all decked out:

The above pic is while I was running in the flats. Here I am at the top of the hill. I ditched the Fuel Belt and just carried a 12-oz. bottle. What a gorgeous day it turned out to be!

So for the weekend, I put in a total of about 32 miles on my feet. Just over 50k! A FANFUCKINGTASTIC RUNNING WEEKEND!

On Monday, my legs were predictably trashed, but I still managed some good training. I swam 2900 yards in the morning, and it felt great. I did 10 minutes of water running when I was done, and that felt great on my legs. After I ate something (it seems I am always eating something!), I decided that actual running was not in the cards, so instead I walked 4.5 miles in just over an hour. I enjoyed it! I was dressed as if I were going to run, and I'm sure it puzzles people to see me just walking dressed that way. Then, just after lunch, I did 30 minutes of strength training. I need to stay on top of that!

On Tuesday, my legs were still a bit rough, but I figured I'd be good running as long as it wasn't the treadmill or pavement. I did 21 minutes of strength training in the early morning, then I did about 1.5 hours of yard work (cutting down perennials and bundling the stems), then I suited up to go running. I headed to Greene Valley again (I LOVE that place!), and parked at the Dog Park and ran from there. The objective was to run for 50 minutes, but I ended up going for 55 minutes because I made a wrong turn at one point, which made me laugh! My legs were a tad sore but nothing bad. I got home, ate something (AGAIN!), and then I headed out to bike on Death Machine for 1:30. I don't think I rode very hard, but I sure was happy to be on a bike again!

Yesterday I was scheduled for a 2900-yard swim, a 1:30 run and an hour of walking. That's a lot for a day, and in retrospect, I should have used Infinit on the run. Keep reading!

Here is the sky in the morning. Beautiful! It portended a great day, and a great day it was!

I did the swim, and it went quite well. Every swim I do I use paddles for at least 1200 yards. It keeps me strong. After I swam, I was really hungry, so I had a Hot Pocket. My body feels very revved up now--I am just moving A LOT! Then I mowed the lawn. Even though it's not what I consider exercise to mow, my body is in the mode that ANY MOVEMENT IS A FUCKING WORKOUT, and in retrospect I should have eaten more before I ran. But I drank a Coke next.

Then I headed to Waterfall Glen. In the back of my mind, I was thinking if I felt good enough I could extend the run to 1:45 which would mean I could run less on this Saturday, but that didn't happen. I did an out and back to Mile 3, and when I was just 2 miles in I felt light-headed. I did a body check--am I sick? NO. Am I dehydrated? NO. Must be lack of calories. At least I knew it. When I got back to my car, I ate a gel, drank half a bottle of water and chugged more Gatorade. Then I headed back out going clockwise (backwards!) and was going to just run 3 more miles, but I got motivated to get some of my walking done during this stretch. So I ran out for about 1.5 miles, then I walked about a mile out, walked about a mile back, and then finished running. Finally, I walked another 2 miles. During the second stretch, it got quite warm out and the sun finally came blazing out! As it was, I got some more suntan, and it felt good! All in all, I covered 9.2 miles running in 1:30 (a nice, easy pace for me) and just over 4 miles walking in 1:01. A good day on the feet!

When I was back at my car the final time, I finished the bottle of water, chugged some more Gatorade and ate a piece of string cheese I had in the cooler. I got my bottle of Endurox R4 out of the cooler for the drive home.

On the way home, I stopped at Brookhaven Market to pick up some salmon caviar that I have become addicted to. When I was on my way in to the store, a man going to his car saw me and I heard him say, "What the hell!" I think he was just reacting to my mirrored sunglasses and the neon green hat that are in the picture above from Sunday's run. It made me laugh. I suppose I looked like some kind of alien being! Either that or I looked like the biggest badass that man had ever seen. Honestly, I think there are times when I DO look like that! I guess I wasn't smiling much at the time because I WAS FUCKING HUNGRY! Never get in my way after I've been working out for hours and I'm hungry.

I finished the Endurox R4 on the way home, then I showered (BEST SHOWER EVER!), ate some caviar and then a Lean Cuisine and had a beer. Then I did some more light yard work after donning compression tights. While I felt overall tired, my legs did not feel too bad! And they don't feel bad at all today! They were a little stiff when I first got out of bed, but there is no quad soreness!

I'M A GODDAMN FUCKING RUNNER AGAIN!

Today I just have a 1:30 ride, and I will probably ride LGL if it's nice outside. If not, then I'll do a Sufferfest video on the trainer. I will do :30-:45 of strength training and get organized for the weekend.

On Saturday, I'm scheduled for a 2 hour run and 1.5 hours of walking, but then I'm driving for hours, so I think I'll walk 45 minutes today so I only have to walk 45 minutes on Saturday. I signed up for this virtual run where the entry benefits bone marrow recipients. I get a bib (below) and a medal! I want to get this done on Saturday, so however long it takes me to run 13.1 miles is what I'm going to do!

I will wear the bib while I'm running whether it ends up being on a treadmill at my YMCA or outside somewhere. If I run outside, I suspect I'll go back to Waterfall Glen so I can get in another dose of hills. I LOVE FUCKING HILLS!!! Well, not really all the time, but I try and alternate flat and hilly. And yesterday had some hills, but I NEED MORE HILLS!!!

I seem to be in a training groove right now--at some level, I can't believe I'm able to do all this--but on another, I've been going at it for years, so I should be able to do this. I won't really know the outcome of any speed improvements until next week when I actually race another 1/2 marathon--that will be interesting! In the meantime, I just need to keep eating constantly to fuel the machine! Time to eat again!

Training Update

I made this meme this morning. It cracks the fuck out of me! I thought, "What would Thor say about not giving a fuck? THIS! Imagine Chris Hemsworth saying it!

I am now only 4 weeks out from a 50k. My last marathon was at Ironman Cozumel in December, 2013, and it wasn't pretty. My Morton's Neuroma was well ensconced, and my hypothyroidism wasn't well-managed. The race wasn't a disaster, but it was a big disappointment.

Fast forward to today. My Morton's Neuroma appears to be well under control. This past Saturday-Sunday I ran 3:03 and walked 2:12. Actually, I'm pretty sure I walked even more during Ironman Chattanooga. I also biked 25 miles on Sunday during the race. That is a lot of time on feet, and my right foot was just fine! I was in running shoes while I was on the bike to make things even worse, and a lot of that biking was done standing up.

In terms of the hypothyroidism, in cooperation with my doctor, I'm getting things checked frequently, and will stay on an every 8 weeks schedule from now on, as I'm formally training, and it's critical I be regulated properly. Prior to my recent test, I didn't get tested since April, and that was when I really started ramping things up. I knew I was out of whack recently due to the sleep disturbances and maybe 1-2 excess pounds. I know that sounds ridiculous but I know my body extremely well, and know that I manage my calorie intake really well, and with all the training I've been doing, there is no way I should be putting on weight. But it's not much, so all good.

Kudos to me for tracking my sleep and TSH levels against my training volume, because I can see when I'm likely to get out of whack, so hopefully I can manage this well now. I don't lose energy when I go more hypothyroid because for me it's mind over matter, but the body finds a way to punish you for trying to do more than it can physiologically support, and the way my body punishes me is with lack of sleep and a few extra pounds.

My quads were really sore through Wednesday this week from all the running on pavement and the standing up biking. I felt really good yesterday, so good in fact, that I lifted legs and then did a Sufferfest video--Local Hero--and did it quite well. The video SUCKS BAD. It is fucking hard, and yet I cranked it out really well. And then my quads were sore again! BRILLIANT!

Today I was scheduled for another 5200 yard swim and a 50 minute run. I was wary of my ability to perform either well after getting only 6 (maybe 5.5--not sure--hours of sleep) and with toasted legs. But I usually feel pretty good once I get in the pool, so I got in with a Coke in a bike bottle and got started. I really tried to dial down the intensity since I didn't care how fast I went this morning. But guess what? I'M GETTING FASTER AGAIN! FUCK YEAH! I know from past experience that I only get faster swimming when I'm putting in at least 9k/week, and I'm up around 11k now. And I'm only doing 3 swims per week--the big, huge one, and 2 shorter ones which this week were 2900 yards each. It's nice to see that despite the punishment I'm dishing out to myself that I'm improving again!

I decided to cut the run short by 5-10 minutes depending on how I felt. I got on the treadmill (it's been miserable cold, rainy, shit pissing fucking weather here) and fired it up and felt surprisingly OK! I mean my legs hurt, but running didn't feel that bad! I did Zone 1 and Zone 2 stuff on the treadmill for 26 minutes then went to the indoor track. I did a mile as 4x400, then a 200. Now, when rested I can run those things at 8:00 or less, but today was 8:30 which is good considering. I ended up running 45 minutes in all, and it wasn't bad.

After working out this morning, a new friend, Lucy, who is the grandma of a baby girl down the street bought me lunch. We had a great time and then I took a nap and I am coming around again. Now I can stare at my fucking training for the weekend--a 2:00 run/1.5 hour hike and a 1:30 run/1 hour hike. WHO THE FUCK WRITES THIS SHIT???

We are supposed to have rain tomorrow but dry on Sunday. My preference would be to do the longer of the 2 sessions on Saturday, but that will mean treadmill. Then again, running on treadmill will ensure I keep my pace down so maybe that's a good thing. As it is, I get eye rolling when someone at my Y hears I'm running 2 hours, but then when I tell them I'm going to walk another 1.5, I dunno, they might think I'm batshit crazy. But I am, and I COULD NOT GIVE A FUCK. I will have to take a cooler with me, because the one thing (and I've only learned ONE FUCKING THING IN ALL THESE YEARS) I've learned is that cold fluids keep me happy during long runs on the treadmill. So I guess I just made my decision! I will start off with a Coke and then degenerate to caffeine-laced Infinint. OH JOY!

Apparently, I did training like this back in 2009 when I was getting ready for a 50-miler. But now I feel like I'm actually in better shape than I was then. Isn't that weird? Maybe because I've had 2 relative "rest" years ("rest" in Crackhead terms is I'm still training way more than you, so shut the fuck up) or maybe because I'm turning 60 and it's magical or maybe there are unicorns in my butt. I just don't know. Yes, blah blah blah I have the most amazing base known to mankind, and that's true, but a huge part of this is MENTAL. And I'm mental, for sure! Seriously, I have to be of the mindset that I can do what I need to do to excel! My coach already has my psychology nailed--when I asked him if I could do Triple T, he said it would be a good training weekend. Then a few hours later he said, "But you have to win." I told him I can probably win my AG and hopefully also the Masters Female division. The first rule of winning is that you have to BELIEVE you can win. For the 4 stinky multisport races I did this summer, I would say that at the first one I had no idea but felt good, for the 2nd I felt pretty confident, and then the last 2 I wouldn't say I thought I was a shoo in but I was VERY confident.

But, I have to take things one day at a time. If I can nail all the running this weekend, I feel confident in my ability to conquer the 50k and be well trained to begin a final push for Dopey Challenge.

Stay tuned!

Crazy Train

Above is what my training has been since the beginning of June. The number that's crazy/scary is the average number of hours/week. As of the end of last week, I'm at 16.77. That is, honestly, fucking insane. However, I intentionally did this to myself to see, along the way, if I felt like I was really prepared to do Ironman-level training again, and possibly even Ultraman. I think I can do it!

Starting yesterday, I'm on an actual training plan written by ME, the CEO of Crackhead Enterprises, LLC. This week's training calls for only 13.75 hours, and that is what I will do. So I will actually begin resting, relatively. From yesterday through October 30, I will only be biking twice a week. This makes me sad, as I am just getting into riding with the fast people in my bike club. But, I know I can resume kicking serious ass with them starting in the spring! And I am certain my coach will want me to ride with them at least once a week. That's how I get faster! And while I am in pretty decent cycling shape right now, it can never hurt to be faster, and I really don't think I've achieved my maximum bike fitness yet! Isn't that fucking exciting? At the ripe age of (almost) 60! 

Starting next week (I have a 1/2 marathon this Sunday), I will be doing double long runs on the weekends, and I will be doing hiking after them. The hiking time is not included in my projected training hours, so it will look like I'm not scheduled for much, but then it will come out in the actuals looking like a lot.

If I take my cumulative hours as of the end of last week, and add in my projected hours through the end of the year, not including the hiking time, I will be at 829 hours for 2016, which will result in an average of 15.94 hours per week. That is close to my heaviest years of training ever, in 2009 and 2010. 2010 is when I did Ultraman Canada. So I think I have proven to myself that I can still train at a very high (elite) level. But, I need to train faster in order to meet my goals of Boston and Kona qualification. I am sure my coach will take care of that in good time. He takes the reins beginning November 1, and I am really looking forward to it! I am positive he will bring the pain, but that's how I get faster.

I have a couple of concerns about myself right now:

1. I have not been sleeping enough. I am accustomed to sleeping a bit less when I am in an Ironman build period, but lately I'm sleeping way too little. Since I know my body and know that I sometimes have the opposite reaction to thyroid dysfunction, I have scheduled a thyroid test in a few weeks. It's likely I will need my Synthroid dosage changed. You might think that sleeping less means I've become borderline hyperthyroid, but, I know from the last few years that sometimes when I feel hyper, my thyroid is actually seriously overworked and trying to keep up with my demands on it and failing. So I may need to slightly increase my Synthroid dose. Starting yesterday, I have recommitted to tracking my sleep, because this will help remind me when I'm doing well at it or not which can signal that I need a thyroid function test.
2. It dawned on me a few days ago that I have FIVE marathon+ races scheduled over the course of 12 months! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!! That can be dangerous territory. But that's why I have a coach. I will need to recover properly from each event so that I don't become injured and can keep training.

Really, that's it. I already know where I stand on my current paces for the 3 sports--swimming I don't expect or need to get much faster; running I am 2 VDOT points from where I need to be for the BQ, and I've been there before and know that is entirely achievable in under 6 months, and biking I need to ride more hills, and it's my intent to train on the Ironman Wisconsin course twice a month from May through August. To get the KQ at Wisconsin, I need to be brutally strong on the hills, so strong that I can run my good marathon afterwards. The Wisconsin course is brutal--both the bike and run--and it's funny that I never thought I would do that race again, yet that is the race where I want to win my AG and get the Kona slot! Hey--I know I'm fucking nuts, but you know what? I'm fucking proud of what I've achieved to date and that I have the chutzpah to openly broadcast my very ambitious goals.

How do I feel right now as I write this blog post?

HOLY FUCKING CRAP WHAT HAVE I DONE???

But I am excited as hell, and now every single day is important--how I eat, how I sleep, how I train, how I feel mentally, that I'm doing all the right self-care things, and that I prioritize those things above all else. All the other things in my life are important, too, especially my friends, because they will support me in this--but how clean my house is, how perfectly maintained my yard is--that bullshit doesn't matter in the least. And while I have time to attempt to run everything perfectly, I'm stating for the record that I'm just not going to even try. Things are going to go wrong, and they will be things I probably can't control so I officially surrender to the unknowns. But I'm looking forward to one fucking Cracktacular ride on the CRAZY TRAIN!

Smiles and Tokens of Appreciation Go a Long Way

Over the years, I've encountered many people in my athletic, personal and work lives who have helped me in some way, and I try and help others whenever I can. I have many tokens of appreciation, some of which merely signify we are happy to know one another. When I look around my house, I see so many little things (I now have a policy against anything larger than about 6" any dimension) that came to me under happy circumstances. I have articles of clothing that were given to me that whenever I wear them remind me of the giver. 

I especially appreciate when someone gives me something that is "me." I have an Incredible Hulk action figure given to me by my good friend, William. I have a hot dog ornament that was given to me by a former coworker, Liz. I once sent Liz a box of candy and fucks, because I knew she would like the candy, and I also knew she was running out of fucks. I wrote FUCK on about 30 Post-It notes! I have a skull given to me by Lori, and when she gave it to me, she told me how she had searched for the perfect skull. It's an anatomical model, that some people wouldn't like, but I love it. I have many things from my BFF, Susan. From skulls to a picture of some wild asses we saw in Hawaii when we were there together when I was training for my very first marathon! Joshua gave me some decorative bottles that have skulls on them and little things inside that I immediately asked, "Are those candy?" Sadly, they are not. My favorite earrings were given to me by Shelley--they are heads in a jar from New Orleans!

Back in 2004 when I was fortunate enough to get into Ironman Hawaii via lottery, I was there with Susan and another friend, Judy. They were my support crew and put up with my moody ass. Here's the 3 of us in a convertible that I rented for our stay and I think we were on the road up to Mauna Kea. This was taken after the race, which explains my winning tan! 

I had such a good time showing Susan and Judy my favorite places on the Big Island after the race. Some time after we all returned to the mainland (sadly), Susan sent me that picture in a beautiful frame. I display the picture always in my living room as it reminds me of good friendship and a wonderful experience. 

On our last day in Kona, we went to Lulu's on Alii Drive. It's now closed. Strung around the railings were banners from the race that merely read Ironman World Championship. There were no sponsor names on it. I asked if I could have a piece of it, and they gave me about 10 feet worth! I took it home and it was precious to me; however, I have given pieces of it away to others--some as they qualified for Kona, and some for inspiration. I don't have any of it left myself, which at times makes me sad, but I hope that the recipients appreciate it.

I try and give people a token of appreciation when they do a favor for me. It's not because I believe in quid pro quo (or as I like to call it, Squid Pro Quo),

but it's just the right thing to do. Sometimes people turn me down, but I'm usually quite insistent on showing them how much I appreciate what they did.Yesterday I decided to go swim at Good Samaritan Wellness Center again. I figured it was worth it for the cool water and hot tub to pay the $15. When I got there (finally, after I'd started on cleaning/organizing my garage, applied a bag of sand to my patio, dropped off a ruined car tire for recycling and checked if I could still get some hanging flower baskets), Jamie was at the front desk, but so was someone else, and she took my information and I paid the $15. Jamie winked at me, and I engaged her in quiet conversation after I paid up, and I told here when my next 3 visits would be, and without saying anything out loud, I know she will let me in for free. Just as I did a few years ago, I am going to give her a bottle of wine for the favor. I remembered that she liked reds, and I did quietly say to her yesterday, "If I remember correctly, you like reds, right?" I didn't even need to say WINE. She remembered, too. So I bought a pretty nice bottle, since after all, I'm still saving money based on her generosity, and I even found a nice wine gift bag at home and thank you card.

Why has this woman been so nice to me over the years? Because I show up smiling! One time it was to go there at oh-dark-thirty to do my very first 10k swim. Many other times it was because my Y was closed on a holiday (now my Y is open almost every holiday) or it was closed for the annual cleaning. We've both aged, but she is much younger than me (I'm guessing 20 years?).  When I went to swim on Sunday, she asked me what was new, and I told her I'd left my job and was starting in on some ambitious athletic goals.

I've had my share of being depressed and/or surly, but my natural state is exuberant and smiley. Some describe it as "bouncing off the walls." Well, yes, sometimes it's like that, too! As long as I'm doing something I enjoy doing, I'm generally going to have a smile on my face and know that my own smile can infect others. I've experienced incredible sadness, too, like in 2006 and 2007 when my parents died back to back. I was a wreck for the better part of 3 years straight, and for months after each parent's passing, I could barely go out in public without crying. But there were many people who were incredibly kind to me and I will never forget that. During that time, I learned how to help others through their own grief process, and unfortunately, have had to utilize those skills regularly. To me, there is no greater gift you can give a person than to be able to help them through that shit. When you know the horrors of deep, crippling grief, you never want to see a friend or loved one go through that, but you do what you can for them.

I'm sure I'm not always as thankful/appreciative for what others do for me, but I am always trying to get better at it. There have been times in the not too distance past when I've been depressed and thought I didn't have many friends. But I am finding that in having the time and energy to reach out to them all now, that I've not lost any of the important friendships, and those people are willing to stand by me and support me in my goals. And that, my friends, is the greatest gift I could ever receive. I hope I can make them all proud not just for what I accomplish, but for who I have become as a person. Because while I love the athletic stuff, none of that is going to be important when I'm dead. What will be important is that I lived my life with joy and integrity and gave as much to others as they have given to me.

For at least 10 years, I've mentored or coached (typically for free) many people because to me, knowledge is useless unless you give it away. No offense to people who charge for that, and I may begin doing that again, but having a passion for something and sharing that passion with others is one of the best things in life. I love gardening and love it when people appreciate my yard as they walk by, and sometimes we chat about plants and stuff. I love training and racing, which is why I like to be well-dressed when I do it so it's obvious the joy I am experiencing, even when it sucks. There is too much good stuff in life to experience for one lifetime! But I am going to give it my best shot!